Corona Journal #6

My head is very foggy right now. I'm absolutely exhausted.

I experienced probably the worst brain fog of my life this week. It was so bad I don't even remember when it happened, just that I spent a whole day completely out of it. Everything else during that day was lost.

I'm considering dropping some classes, which is something I've never done. I'm overwhelmed.

AP testing is coming up. That's going to be a massive mess.

Anyway, I might be developing a coffee addiction? I'm not sure. I drink a lot of caffeinated things, mostly tea because I used to drink a lot of coffee and I found it too strong. I've switched back to coffee out of desperation and now I'm more energetic but also more addicted.

Good news this week: I went to the lake. It was so refreshing. The lake is my favorite place in the world. I love being out on the water and under the sun. I tried to go fishing with my dad, but that didn't really work out because it's early May.

I played the violin a few minutes ago. Non musicians will never understand how good it feels to have your instruments under your fingers. I also think non violinists will never understand the specific glee of it. My fingers itch to play some more, but I have about 4 more hours of homework to go through tonight.

I wish I was more productive. I actually think I might have a game plan for this, but I don't know how well it'll work. Here's a rough outline.

1. Take off headphones. I work better when I can hear what I'm doing. Something about being able to hear the keyboard or the pencil on paper really breaks through my ADHD and depression haze. I tend to overload myself with stimulus because of my ADHD, but I've found that doing things in a more grounded way helps me.

2. Make lists again. I got to a point where I was in such a fog that trying to remember all my assignments was more work than doing the assignments themselves because I could not conjure my assignments out out of my fog brain, so I quit. I'm going to try making them again.

3. Break the brain fog. My brain fog is me sitting in my chair staring at the wall for hours listening to the multiple songs playing above each other in my head. I've figured out some ways to chop it up so I have windows of focus. Showering, exercising, going through my skincare routine. Just breaking up the monotony.

4. Prioritize. I have to do these things in order: attendance, tests, daily assignments, other assignments, weekly assignments. Going in a random order just slows me down.

Okay, let's see how well I can follow this guide I just wrote for myself. This entry is really disjointed and confusing. My head is a disjointed and confused place right now.